An unexpected pregnancy can make everything in your life feel out of control. Suddenly, you are still determining what your future looks like and how you will go about pursuing your goals. While you can’t control the situation, you can manage your response. Aim to stay calm and be supportive of your partner during this time.
How Can You Help
In addition to the emotional upheaval that may accompany an unexpected pregnancy, your partner is likely also struggling with pregnancy symptoms that leave her feeling unwell, exhausted, and emotional.
- Offer her support during this time. Help her with tasks that may feel overwhelming to her.
- Offer to attend medical appointments with her
- Listen to her without trying to tell her what she should do
- If she is worried about telling her family and friends about the pregnancy, offer to tell them with her
Do Not Pressure Her
Regardless of the decision you think she should make, do not pressure her either by forcefully telling her what to do or through manipulation like telling her that you won’t stay with her if she makes a decision that contradicts what you want.
While you should discuss pregnancy outcome options together, ultimately, the decision is hers. If you and your partner disagree about the best option, it can be difficult to communicate without the conflict escalating. Here are some tips for sharing without pressure:
- Gather information about each option so you are informed about resources and support
- Wait until she wants your opinion
- Share your information in a non confrontational way and allow her the time to process
- Try using active listening by reflecting her thoughts to her, so you can be sure you understand her
- Consider reaching out to a third party, like a mental health counselor, if you need help keeping the conversation productive
What About You?
An unexpected pregnancy is not an easy experience for anyone. It is normal for you to feel lost and like life is spiraling out of control. Talking with someone who understands the stress of what you are going through can help. Seek the help of a mentor or a counselor to help you process your feelings.
Writing down your feelings may also help you clarify your thoughts when they are racing.
Find the support you need near you. Get information about all options, learn about resources, and connect with a support team. The pregnancy centers within our network offer free services so you and your partner can find the help you need.